This past week I was hit by a virus locomotive. Seriously, this virus du jour was not a Mack Truck as folks often like to say when they get the annual winter cold/flu. Mine was an entire train wreck of viruses all smashed up into one body. I’ve suffered many a malady in my nearly 45 years; but, this last week there were honest moments that I thought death may be imminent. I still sound like Goofy, all full of snuffles, congestion and the dreaded cough. But, I’m not stuck in the creative void I had been the few days leading up to the illness and the creative black hole that happened during it. But somewhere between the combo sinus headache and migraine – in fact I think it was while I was lying on the cool bathroom floor too afraid to be far from the porcelain throne – I broke free from the gravitational pull of Planet Writer’s Misery. As I was able to physically sit upright again, and the wretchedness of virus locomotive’s tracks on my being was leaving the station, the vision of my future became clearer and clearer. It was topped off with producing six pages on a project for my university studies that had been eluding me for three weeks. I have about 36 more pages to produce, but hey, it’s a start.
If that kind of break through wasn’t enough, I met two goddesses for brunch today, they pretend to be the human mothers Kymberlee and Janaya. We drank mimosas, heavenly coffee and ate eggs with vegetables. Throughout our conversation they showed me a mirror of who I am creatively – the Word Warrior. I’m currently in a battle to win the war between surviving and thriving. I know how to survive. Now is the time to live my joy. It is time to give back through the words and works that I create and not be afraid.
Kymberlee did a mini oracle card reading for the three of us. Mine focused on the natural rhythm and cycles of life. Change. It truly is the only constant and everything is about the flow. I joke constantly to my colleagues at TSSDJ* that you have to be fluid because flexible is too rigid. I’ve been too rigid lately. That’s why my psyche is being bruised so often lately. I have to allow the change to happen much like the seasons. I have to embrace it – both the light of it and the shadow of it. I make my characters in my stories do that – embrace the dark so that they can get to the light. The author needs to write the same kind of acceptance into her own life.
“So look-out you rock-n-rollers!…” as my Uncle David Bowie (no he’s not really my uncle, but he may as well be with his words of wisdom) says, Casz has her armor on and she’s leading the charge to win the war against doubt and live the dream as reality. Sing it with me now, “Ch-ch-ch-Changes!”
Need to get into step with the changes around you? Add this to your soundtrack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMQ0Ryy01yE
Now tell me how you’re living your dream….