Tuesday and Wednesday were some doozies of days. But much of my favorite things peppered in with the ups and downs and zig-zags of life.
I started Tuesday like any work day, getting spouse and youngest out the door for work and school, then dealing with all the microfarm animals.
Then I had to hurry and get ready, because there was a #LifewithAutism appointment at 0900 hrs to be at. I was feeling very much in the spirit of not allowing hate to win. And I donned a giant safety pin on my jacket as I left the house. The man who is president-elect openly mocks people with disabilities –on multiple occasions. MamaCasz does not abide.
As it was the appointment changed in nature and I found myself with some time to kill. Since I was in the big town next door, I went to Big Lots and picked up some new entry-way rugs for the house that we desperately needed (the rainy season makes for such sloppy floors without effective entry rugs). I also picked up some holiday table cloths. Then I went to Michaels to look for a certain kind of sticker for my etsy store efforts. My store is in desperate need of attention. The shelves are bare. This is a bad time of year for it, and I have merchandise, but it’s just a matter of getting it listed appropriately. I couldn’t find the stickers, but I picked up this adorable photo-ready ornament for a friend for her baby’s first Yule. Then I went to PCC and picked up dried turkish apricots (one of my favorites No. 10), and mini dolmas for my lunch. Then I went by Office Depot to see if the labels I had previously were purchased there. No luck. Then I went to Value Village to try to find a dress for my husband’s work holiday party. No cigar there, but the Sasquatch sweater I had seen a few weeks ago was there and I snatched it up, because I saw a fellow baseball mom there who gifted me with a 30 percent coupon on my total purchase. I scored two more pairs of jeans in the new required smaller size for just $8 for both. So treasure hunting was fruitful (No. 28).
Then the #LifewithAutism appointment needed to be returned to, and so I did. It went off without a hitch and with surprisingly positive results, albeit nothing with #LifewithAutism is easy. But, easy is a spectrum filtered through an Autistic lens.
Then it was time to go home and get some daily chores done (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.), take the dogs for a walk, and plan dinner. Detroit Red Wings Hockey (No. 13 & 21) was going to be shown later that afternoon, so I decided on coneys and apple slices and some baked fries. A quick trip to the grocery store and a Detroit-special meal was in the works. Fries are a cheat for me, as is the Vernors with my whiskey. But, I kept it to a small serving of fries, which I didn’t actually finish all of (my puppies helped me out), and one Vernors. And the buns were not on the diet either, but I bought the kind with the lowest amount of sugar and highest fiber content.
The Wings lost in the end, but it was a great game. During one of the game intermissions, my youngest son and I scooted over to help one of my friends (No. 5) get her GIANT Yule tree down off the tippy-top shelf of her garage. It was a quasi-ploy so she could give me a birthday gift. LulaRoe leggings. I’ve seen so many people just go gaga over these and I was unconvinced of their fanatical appeal. Not so much any more. These are the softest leggings I’ve ever put on. They also fit very well. My son did help my friend’s two younger sons get the tree down and she’ll have holiday goodness with her boys before too long.
I tried hard to work on writing, but the only thing I got done on Tuesday was some blogging. It’s still writing (No. 6), but not all I wanted to accomplish. I did get more reading done on my current pile of books (No. 7) and then Hubby came home from his evening with his father and it was time for evening chores and bed.
Wednesday proved to be fraught with #LifewithAutism processing (it takes my son a longer time to process things that happen to him) over the election, his own personal life, his relationships, and his future. A sad, lonely boy in the shell of a grown man cried in my arms Wednesday morning for more than an hour. He wants to try. He gets angry that his brain steers him wrong. He gets hurt that people take advantage of him, judge him, dismiss him, and discount him. It felt very much like there had been some developmental growth with my son over this month. Like I was dealing with a teenager, and not the stilted intellect of a 9 year old in a grown man’s frame. There was some self-realization, which is a huge, huge positive step forward. But it was emotionally exhausting.
On the heels of that, as I sat in my room trying to decompress and process my own emotions over everything that comes with my Autistic Son’s life, I received a phone call from my oldest daughter. She, her father, and I have had a challenging year or so as far as the relationship between us. I had posted a meme on facebook of all things that made her consider things from a different lens. Those thoughts opened the door for a good talk. A good, long talk. Suffice to say, it was a very good thing and honestly, the highlight of my day. I’m looking forward to seeing her and her new husband on Thanksgiving.
Before I knew it, my children (No. 2) had lovingly consumed my whole morning and I realized I had not even eaten yet. So it was time for a break to fuel my body and mind. I quickly did my #weighinwednesday and had plateaued. No weight lost. No weight gain. It happens and I was nonplussed. Then I made some food, sat down to watch some mind-numbing entertainment for thirty minutes, then to fold laundry, walk the dogs, and clean the chicken coop (No. 16).
Then I did a quick check on housing options for my special-needs son. There was a promising one that I called right away. The landlady and I had a lovely conversation until I got to the explanation part of why I was so involved with the housing search process. The minute I mentioned that he was on the spectrum, she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. Per the law in Washington state, they have the right to refuse rental to anyone that doesn’t meet their criteria on income, credit history, or criminal background. My son has a misdemeanor criminal background. Young adult, head-up-your-ass things. But, it will make denying him easier, ableism present or no. I also want to make sure there will be some compassion and understanding by those renting to him. I may be making things too hard. I’m still processing that (it’s not only people on the spectrum that need time to process, us neuro-typicals do, too).
Then I had to sit and weep a bit and eat some chocolate my father-in-law had sent over (two tiny dark chocolate salted carmels, No. 32). Then it was time to wipe my tears away and get to work.
At that point in my Wednesday, the manuscript was calling me and I had to just write. There was small breaks to get tea (No. 12), move laundry along, let the dogs out, and grab the mail (which by the way seems to only be delivered a few times a week…), and talk to a friend on the phone (man, my phone worked overtime on Nov. 16th), but I worked until I had to make dinner — Chicken Caesar Salad — totally healthy and totally on the diet plan. Everyone ate to their heart’s content and there was zero leftovers, which is a goal as I ramp up for Thanksgiving feasting at our homestead.
Along with weigh-in on Wednesday, hubby and I try to do #WineWednesday (No. 31). We are fortunate enough that inexpensive yet tasty wine is readily available to us. We had a nice bottle of Malbec to go with our dinner and see us through Couch Time (No. 27).
There was a small #LifewithAutism meltdown right near the end of the night — the hardest of times to deal with meltdowns. It was caused in part by my son’s inattentiveness to technology’s delicateness (e.g. small wires in headphones). It was dealt with quickly and with only a little fuss (at least on my end. Hubby still struggles with the defense mechanism that is the fight and flight response that is so prevalent with people who are on the spectrum. But we eventually got to bed. Settling down two teenage boys when you’re 5o years old and like to be in bed by 2200 hrs. can be fraught with aggravation.
I snuggled up to my husband in bed and bid the crazy two days farewell and put in my mind that I would dream of solutions for my family.
Life these last couple of days has been a real roller coaster. But, you know what they say about roller coasters, right?